i hate it when you fall asleep early thinking you are just laying down for an hour and then you wake up three hours later and see that you've slept your whole evening away! Yes, that's what i've just done, it stinks! Today was nice, I slept in after a troubling night of "sleep" and hung out with karbear and p-dawg. Then i went shopping which always makes me feel better and had dinner with my parents. Dad is in town this weekend which is cool cause i haven't seen him in a long time but he seems to be in one of his moods. I think he is upset that i'm not more upset about the move. I feel like it's drug on far enough and i'm just ready to get on with it. I'm ready to be up in Dekalb and start my new life up there. I'm ready to see my friends again and meet new people. I'm ready to start over again. I love being home, don't get me wrong but sometimes it gets overwhelming or i just get sick of the same old crap. Crap from people and from myself. Work is over now so that is one step closer and next week i'm going to camp. I'm excited about camp this year, it will be fun but i'm not sure what's going to happen. It is all going to be new this year and i think i'm going to have a lot more things that i'm going to be responsible for. Could be good but also could be bad. Then after camp i have one week and then i'm gone. It's hard to believe i'm going to have to pack up my whole life and move it to dekalb, but like i said, i'm ready. Isn't it crazy how life changes so fast on you? My whole life seems to have changed from last summer. I remember being so scared about going to school. I remember being so close to God and so close to my friends. Now i feel very distant from God and i feel all alone. I have some of the most amazing friends that i know i can talk to but i don't. I keep it all here but i don't even know if i could put it all in words if i tried and who knows if people would understand? Am i just running to Dekalb because i'm so ready to be over this weird time in my life? if i am, then i'm just fooling myself because i don't have any christian friends up there and there's no way without that kinda of support i can get out of a slump like this. I know that God wants me to plant a church in dekalb and i need to spiritually prepare for being up there. I won't be able to handle that if i'm just running away from my life in peoria. And it's not like i'm running from my life here because my time here has been amazing! There's NO WAY that i would change my time here and the people i've grown to love here. I know God brought me here for a reason but of course, nothing is ever clear when you are living it, it's always hindsight that is more clear right? now i've seemed to have rambled on for some time now and i'm no where close to where i started....

So camp is OVER! YAY! Now my vacation can start, haha. So summary of camp, work, sunburn, almost died, then work again! Sounds like fun right? So here's how i almost died, Angela knocked me out of a moving golf cart and i cracked my head open on a rock! Angela was driving and i was sitting on a girl lap so i really couldn't hold on. So yes, i know we shouldn't have been sitting like that but that's not the point, i almost died, haha. Angela took this corner way too fast and i knew that i was going to fall out. So my two options were try to jump out and run or take a face plant into the gravel road. I chose to try and run and of course that didn't work and i fell anyway. I hit my head really hard on a rock and it started bleeding. It was actually pretty funny, we laughed for a good twenty mins about it. The second time i almost died yesterday was when angela took me up on this trail that she claimed was really easy but it was basically up hill forever. Then it started raining so i could just see myself slipping on the wet leaves and falling to my death on the rocks below! Yesterday was very eventful as you can see. We also got to ride horses which was really fun cause all the special ops people got the afternoon off to go, i don't know who was working, haha. So overall camp was great but now i'm really sore and tired from it all!